Prom? Sure! When she's 40!!

I was out running errands today and found myself driving past a high school. School was out and kids were hanging out around the parking lot, waiting for buses or setting up for sports practice outside on the fields. I noticed one small group of kids that was made up of 3 boys and one girl. She was falling all over herself smiling and flirting with one boy in particular. She was laughing loudly and what seemed like any word he said, smiling that million dollar smile that would send any teenage boy into a righteous ego boost, and finding reasons to brush his arm or touch his hand. You know..run of the mill flirting 101. Girls you know exactly what I am talking about. Don't tell me your mind doesn't click back to high school when you see that taking place!

In that moment, I found myself thinking up the conversation I will have with any potential boyboy Penelope looks at, flirts with, dreams up or brings around. First I will google the snot out of him. Anything so much as a mean facebook/myspace comment he has made will be saved in my artillery. I won't act on the googleage yet. Oh no. I will just save that information away and press on. When the time comes to meet boyboy, it will go something like this. I will approach him all Martha Brady like, maybe even with a tray of cookies to get in his good graces and really nail down that 'awesome' mom jig. Once he's warmed up with a mouth full of baked goodness, I will set the tray aside, fold my hands sweetly in front of me and look him square in the eyes. "So you're taking my daughter out. Isn't that cute?" **drop the smile but maintain the sweet voice - that really drives it home..** "Before you even think of laying a finger on my beautiful baby, there is something you should know. I have Jedi mind tricks that can wreak havoc on a boyboy just like you. What does that mean you say? It's quite simple really, I can bring you down without lifting a finger. You will lose complete control of your bladder and you will find yourself unnaturally soiled. If that doesn't prove effective, you may find yourself picking your nose, ear, or any other crevice that proves convenient for my point making. That's just the tip of the iceberg lil guy, she is not to be touched."

Let me be clear, she will not date until she's 40.