Chatty Kathy

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7 Stages of My New Butt

A little tid bit from this month's "Parents" Magazine...

7 STAGES OF MY NEW BUTT

Stage 1 - DENIAL
This isn't a new butt. It's the same awesome butt you had the day you got married.

Stage 2 - SHOCK
Well, it's technically the same butt, but for some reason it doesn't fit into the pants you wore last year - before you got pregnant. But there's no way your butt could be so drastically altered by having a baby. Could it? OMG!

Stage 3 - ANGER
Fine. It's not the same butt. It has curves and divots and new places that sweat. It follows you wherever you go. Stupid, annoying butt and its stupid, annoying cellulite! Is it possible to get a restraining order to prevent it from stalking you?

Stage 4 - DEPRESSION
No dice. It turns out you can't get a restraining order against your own body. And if you inquire about it people laugh at you. And that makes you cry. As do the elastic-waist pants you just bought, even though you are nine months postpartum. Those lying liars who said "nine months on, nine months off" must have gotten to keep their original cute butt.

Stage 5 - GUILT
You are a grown woman. You know that women should be - and are - more than just hot bodies. You know objectification is cruel. You've read the magazine articles that tell you how awesome you are. You created life. And yet...this butt. IT WON'T GO AWAY.

Stage 6 - FEAR
You probably have Flesh Expanding Butt Disease. It's very rare, but if you get FEBD your butt will eventually consume your entire body, preventing you from leading a normal life. There is no cure for this horrible ailment. Best to just go buy a bunch of sweatpants.

Stage 7 - ACCEPTANCE
Right. So it isn't that bad, really. Your new butt does come with some nice features. It's easier to close the car door now. Your kids have something to hang on when you're at the grocery store. And your husband likes it. A lot. In fact, your new butt is kind of growing on you...

That's What He Said...

A friend of ours 'noted' (facebook) a phone conversation he had with an insurance agent. If you know the guy, you will laugh hysterically - but even if you don't you can appreciate the humor.

We will call him Jim.

Caller: Hi Jim, this is Meredith calling on behalf of Hoopdy Insurance regarding the quote you requested. So are you related to Pam? I had her name down here in my notes as well requesting a quote.

Jim: Pam is my wife.

Caller: Oh okay. I wasn't sure if you were husband and wife or brother and sister or something...

Jim: Actually, we're both.

(Long Pause)

Caller: Oh!....ok....

Jim: I'm just messing with you! We're still not allowed to get married.

Sunshine On My Shoulder Makes Me Happy!

Today was a good day.

I mean any day where there is uninterrupted sunshine in the NW is a good day - but today was exceptionally rad.

We started the day out by sleeping in till 8 (our version of bliss), took our time eating a healthy breakfast, got a few little chores done around the house and headed out for a few errands. In the afternoon, we snagged our lunch and found ourselves lounging on the blanket in the sunshine at the waterfront park. That was one happenin' place!! Everyone and their dog (literally) crawled out from the depths of their water-proof, warm homes to soak up this rare occasion that is SUNLIGHT IN MARCH in the Pac NW. Frisbees were thrown, picnics were made, walks were taken and I'm sure somewhere there was a stand with two little boys trying to make a buck per dixie cup of lemonade. Like I said...this was a GOOD DAY.

The view from our blanket was made up of the incredible Mt. Hood in all its glory, the Columbia River adorned with sailboats and fishing boats, and a beautiful lush, green park with new blossoms everywhere reaching for the sun to soak up every ray.

I found myself thinking about how much my life has changed - and how incredibly blessed I have been. I have a great life.
I have seen a lot of brokenness and a whole lot of discouraging circumstances, but in the end, I can look back at it and truly see the hand of God shaping me into who I am and where I am now. I have an amazing family who lets me be exactly who I am. I have a husband who choses to rally through life with me in good and bad. He encourages me and keeps my eyes on things above. His love makes me better, stronger. He still makes my heart skip a beat. And, oh Penelope. My precious and divine gift. She makes my rockin' world go round. She makes my heart beat faster and her smile shows me what true, amazingly pure joy is.

Today was a good day.

I was reminded of God's irreplaceable position in my life and I was reminded that his plan for me far exceeds what I could have dreamt up for myself. Not bad for a Saturday if I do say so myself.

From Bath Time To Bathing Suit

This baby LOVES water!
We have always marveled at her love of bath time - it really is a time of complete relaxation for all involved.
She all but goes into a trans when we hit bath time wind down.

With that in mind - we did the daring thing - we introduced her to a swimming pool! Needless to say it was a HIT. People all around us were amazed at how laid back she was and how much she seemed to enjoy herself.

Maybe she will be swimming by 9 months like her mama did. Go little guppy go!

"Plump Plump Penelope"

Well - I am two weeks late on this one, but here are pics of our puddin' peanut butter at 4 months and 15lbs. That's right, this girl appreciates a good meal and she's not ashamed of it!
She has been such a riot to watch the last month - the world around her seems to have grown immensely and she is constantly enthralled with the new sights and sounds she discovers each and every day. She is intentionally expressive when she comes upon new sights. First her eyes light up like little saucers and then she raises her eyebrows as if to say "that is BRAND NEW to me!" What a delight!

The last time Penelope's Grandpa Shell got to smooch and snuggle on her, he dubbed her "Plump Plump Penelope". So much to love on in such a little babe! I recently found out that growing up, my Dad liked to call me "Chunk Chunk Andrea". I personally think "Plump" is a little cuter than "Chunk", but hey - who's keeping track? :)

This little Plump of rolls and giggles makes our hearts beat a little faster and brings more joy than we could have hoped for. There have been challenging moments, and there are certainly times where we still struggle to remember our own names, but that little face makes it all quite bearable.

Five months old is right around the corner - don't blink - you might miss it!

Long Time Gone

I'm SORRY for being so lax in posting in oh...two weeks. Whoooeee...it has been a whirlwind adventure in our sweet lil home. Everything from combating illness, keeping up with work, catching up on spring cleaning and that whole task of raising an infant has had us dashing from task to task so quickly that our heads are spinning.

I owe you some serious catch up, so in the mean time I'll show you what's to come.

Dum da dum! Here we go...a recap of the last two weeks in future blog titles!

1: "Plump Plump Penelope"
2: From Bath Time to Bathing Suit
3: Chatty Kathy
4: Thrifty or GENIUS?
5: Bedroom Makeover!!
6: Adventures in Machismo
7: Blossom: Adventures and Discovery

Could I be more vague? Just stay posted. I'll keep you entertained with this here Griswold-esque story that is our life.