Prom? Sure! When she's 40!!

I was out running errands today and found myself driving past a high school. School was out and kids were hanging out around the parking lot, waiting for buses or setting up for sports practice outside on the fields. I noticed one small group of kids that was made up of 3 boys and one girl. She was falling all over herself smiling and flirting with one boy in particular. She was laughing loudly and what seemed like any word he said, smiling that million dollar smile that would send any teenage boy into a righteous ego boost, and finding reasons to brush his arm or touch his hand. You know..run of the mill flirting 101. Girls you know exactly what I am talking about. Don't tell me your mind doesn't click back to high school when you see that taking place!

In that moment, I found myself thinking up the conversation I will have with any potential boyboy Penelope looks at, flirts with, dreams up or brings around. First I will google the snot out of him. Anything so much as a mean facebook/myspace comment he has made will be saved in my artillery. I won't act on the googleage yet. Oh no. I will just save that information away and press on. When the time comes to meet boyboy, it will go something like this. I will approach him all Martha Brady like, maybe even with a tray of cookies to get in his good graces and really nail down that 'awesome' mom jig. Once he's warmed up with a mouth full of baked goodness, I will set the tray aside, fold my hands sweetly in front of me and look him square in the eyes. "So you're taking my daughter out. Isn't that cute?" **drop the smile but maintain the sweet voice - that really drives it home..** "Before you even think of laying a finger on my beautiful baby, there is something you should know. I have Jedi mind tricks that can wreak havoc on a boyboy just like you. What does that mean you say? It's quite simple really, I can bring you down without lifting a finger. You will lose complete control of your bladder and you will find yourself unnaturally soiled. If that doesn't prove effective, you may find yourself picking your nose, ear, or any other crevice that proves convenient for my point making. That's just the tip of the iceberg lil guy, she is not to be touched."

Let me be clear, she will not date until she's 40.

These are a few of my favorite things...

Forget the raindrops on roses or whiskers on kittens...I mean really...whiskers?

There are these moments in parenthood, these moments that make you stop dead in your tracks to take in the bliss that is your beautiful baby. The way she curls her toes like she's trying to hold onto you in anyway she can. The direct eye contact and sideways smiles that come out of nowhere and instantly make you understand love in its purest form. And oh, The Gobbler. I don't know where it comes from, but it sits so sweetly right below her round chin and right on top of her chest. Simply delicious.

These are my favorite things.

I have this amazing little girl and a great man by my side. I am so in love. I know love in a way I never imagined possible.

Happy Two Month Birthday Penelope, you beautiful bodacious little girl! Mommy loves you!

Snap, Crackle, Pop

Oh it hurts so good...

The three of us have had a full week of chiropractic care and we are feeling pretty dang good.

This journey started out with a visit my mother-in-law made to the chiropractor. I used to see the same chiropractor on a regular basis, but due to schedule with work I haven't been able to see him in over two years. Boo. That. Anyhow, on a recent visit he asked her how we were holding up and how the new baby was doing. She then explained to him that we were dealing with colic and that our nights were a little more sleepless than the norm. With no hesitation, he told her that we just needed to bring her in and he could put the kabash on that nightmare. As soon as I heard this, I took his first available appointment.

People, I am a believer. I BELIEVE!

We saw him three times this week and it went like so:

Visit #1 - she fussed for a nano second after he adjusted her neck, and went back to daddy smiling. In the first twenty minutes after her adjustment was finished, she filled to MAX CAPACITY two..count 'em...TWO diapers. For the rest of the day, we had a perfectly beautiful smiley baby. You could tell she was much more relaxed and on the fussy-meter, we were down a few notches.

Visit #2 - the adjustment was quite quick, she went back to mommy smiling and slept 6 hours...STRAIGHT that night. In the morning, Dana and I couldn't help but rehash every minute of the night before. Really? 6 hours straight? We wanted to be certain we weren't forgetting a midnight feeding that did in fact take place - maybe we just weren't fully awake?

Visit #3 - she was quite discombobulated tonight and he spent a little more time with her. She came back to mommy smiling again and was buckled right into her car seat without a fuss. She must be REAL reeeelaxed because she has yet to wake up for her 6:00 feeding....it's almost 8:00.

Tonight we are making attempt #1 at baby girl sleeping in her own nursery. She has always slept with us so while we are anticipating a rough couple of nights, I am still hopeful that with this adjustment today she will be a little more relaxed and able to sink into a solid sleep.

Come ooooon 6 hours - come to mama!

Drop the egg and you get a F.

So remember back in school when you had the assignment with the egg? You had to watch over it for a week or so - treating it like a child - and guarding it oh so carefully so as not to crack or damage it at all. Heaven forbid it slipped from your clumsy grip because you would flunk your assignment and be forever dubbed the "egghead".

I think up to this point, I have felt like a glorified babysitter. My primary function has been to care for and protect this precious little project. The only difference is instead of the pressure of a mean teacher watching my every move, I deal with the pressure of severe sleep deprivation, a TOTAL loss of the ability to retain information and even at times, the loss of basic motor function.

That all changed today.

We took Penelope to an alternative treatment for colic, the chiropractor.
We toured child care facilities.
We got a freaked out, intense lesson about... WAIT, I mean...we were INFORMED about vaccinations.

We were parents. Real grown-up, decision making, wisdom seeking parents.

Holy crap. It begins.

Hell hath NO fury - like a baby with COLIC..

It's no secret - we are in a rough spot.

Baby P is not only dealing with a righteous bout of Colic, but she is going through her second growth spurt since her birth. Sister is pert-near 11.5 lbs already!! WHOA! For those of you who have experienced Colic, you can sympathize and no explanation is needed. Imagine the worst of it and throw in a double dose of the same symptoms as a result of a growth spurt. Poor baby has been so fussy lately, we have both been at our wits end trying to figure out how to make her comfortable. On one hand we get to the point where we can't stand the crying and we're ready to plug our ears and let her hash it out. On the other, we are desperate to do whatever it takes to make her happy. It's like loving someone with every fiber of your being but wanting to run the opposite direction when you hear them open their mouth to speak, or in our case, scream.

I cry a lot lately. **Sorry about those late night tearful phone calls Mama.**

It's amazing the insecurity that comes with being a mother. I told Dana tonight that the greatest insecurity I have ever known is solely in the responsibility I have as Penelope's mother. It wasn't until tonight when a good friend pointed out how quickly she has grown in a week's time, that I realized she was in fact in a growth spurt. And OH, maybe she's a crankfest because she is STARVING her butt off and needing more grub to grow!! Pardon me while I kick myself in the face for missing such a cue. I carry the weight of every ache and pain she experiences and I take responsibility for it. Any discomfort that befalls her, I own as if I put it there. I don't know why that is.

I will say this, I have learned how desperately I love my own mother and I'm seeing in a new light how amazing she is. The things I put her through - oh how do I count the ways I abused her. I have such unwavering respect for her and I am so blown away by the way she loves me. I hope that someday I can be the mom to Peanut that she has been to me. If I can be, I know I will have touched a life, made it better, left a legacy, blessed it beyond words.

I love you mom - and in joy or suffering, I will spend the rest of my days trying to show this sweet baby the love you have shown me.

Keep it ZIPPED ladies!

So I don't know if I have become hyper aware of this since becoming a mother, or if it's just more accepted by society these days, but what is with nursing mothers whipping out the chow wagon in public?! I mean REALLY?!

Several months before the birth of Peanut, Dana and I were meandering through IKEA when I notice Dana's eyes become saucers. They are telling me that he's just seen a) a ghost, or b) the naked booby of a random tree hugging, nature mommy in the Lighting aisle. It was no joke because minutes later in Textiles I ran right into her. Sure enough, she had her baby in the Baby Bjorn and her business was out there for everyone to see! The baby was chilling out in the carrier facing mommy and mommy's business was just BLAM...THERE...whipped out so baby can hook it up at her convenience. REALLY?!

My next experience was just last week when we were at Babies R' Us. Now granted, BRU is a place you would expect nursing mothers to be, but COME ON. We were looking for one item in particular and walked past one row several times. There was a couple in the row clearly looking into baby baths and were pulling out different models to get a good look. Each time I walked past, they had another style/model in their hands. The very last time I walked by...sure enough...she wasn't pulling baths out any longer, she had ejected HERSELF from her blouse and as she was cramming baby baths back into boxes, baby boy was hooked up getting down to business. First of all, I kind of admired her ability to multi-task. I mean the woman was bending over, standing up, tossing boxes around like she wasn't otherwise engaged in nursing. That's impressive on many levels. But nonetheless...REALLY?

I understand that nursing is natural and beautiful, it is a precious bond between mother and baby. I get that people, believe me! I cherish that time with my child, but I don't get the 'just pull it out' notion.

"Just pull it out" friends, let me introduce you to a diaper bag MUST-HAVE, The Hooter Hider. It's amazing, and gives you and your baby blissful privacy and not to mention it saves the awkward glances from passers by.

"Just pull it out" no longer! Hide those hooters sisters!