It's weird to think that it's been 11 years. 11. Eleven. Uh-leven. 10+1 years. It's baffling to think that 11 years ago, my life was spared and I began a journey that would be heart breaking but full of joy, tedious but blissful, painful and yet so indescribably rewarding.
Eleven years ago, a young man made a real dumb choice. He partied way too hard, drank WAY too much (not sure how he was conscious), picked up his friend's car keys, jumped behind the wheel and somewhere on some dark street, he flew through a red light going 70 miles an hour. I was slowly beginning to make a left turn at a green light when his front bumper got real cozy with the kidney and ribs on the left side of my body. I remember his head lights. That's when everything goes dark for me.
I don't think a year will go by when this day comes and I don't think of that night. Not because I'm sad or I haven't moved on from this incident but because it was life-changing, world-shaking HUGE. My entire LIFE was completely different in just a MOMENT. When that divine appointment came to fruition somewhere on a dark street, my entire future shifted. Mind, body, heart, e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g shifted.
My mind is still healing, I think. I have nightmares and sleep talk (according to the hubs) about what happened but by God's grace, I still only remember those headlights, nothing more. I've forgiven the man that hit me, I've moved on from his mistake. I've grown profoundly from this experience and truly, in my heart of hearts I hope that he has to.
My body is broken. Everyday I work around managing chronic, broad (AKA, "Hard to treat, but hey, here's some pain pills") pain. I have shaky hands and lose my balance from time to time and many days I feel like a 95 year old lady which is dead sexy, I know. You know what though? This body is incredibly strong. I went a long time with docs telling me one particular feat would be too hard to manage but 4+ years later, I have carried to term and given birth to two beautiful, vivacious, potentially crazy little girls.
My heart rejoices! Wholly, completely, my heart rejoices! I was given a second chance at life and I have LIVED it. I married a wonderful man who accepts my crazy and I am a mom to two girls who have brought so much joy. I am surrounded by the most amazing people! Seriously, my family and friends are top-notch, completely, perfect-for-me amazing. I have discovered a bravery in me that frees me to SING. A few Sundays each month, I get to stand in front of the body of Christ and usher them into worship. I get to sing to and for Jesus, mind blowing. I am also so privileged to write and record songs and people even like to hear them. Unreal, wow.
I get to tenaciously live each day knowing that there is nothing in this world, not even a blazing fast, hard HIT that will stop me.
I have so much to be thankful for and after eleven years, I am humbled to say that that crazy accident...is just one of them.
XOXO
