11 Years...

It's weird to think that it's been 11 years. 11. Eleven. Uh-leven. 10+1 years. It's baffling to think that 11 years ago, my life was spared and I began a journey that would be heart breaking but full of joy, tedious but blissful, painful and yet so indescribably rewarding.

Eleven years ago, a young man made a real dumb choice. He partied way too hard, drank WAY too much (not sure how he was conscious), picked up his friend's car keys, jumped behind the wheel and somewhere on some dark street, he flew through a red light going 70 miles an hour. I was slowly beginning to make a left turn at a green light when his front bumper got real cozy with the kidney and ribs on the left side of my body. I remember his head lights. That's when everything goes dark for me.

I don't think a year will go by when this day comes and I don't think of that night. Not because I'm sad or I haven't moved on from this incident but because it was life-changing, world-shaking HUGE. My entire LIFE was completely different in just a MOMENT. When that divine appointment came to fruition somewhere on a dark street, my entire future shifted. Mind, body, heart, e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g shifted.

My mind is still healing, I think. I have nightmares and sleep talk (according to the hubs) about what happened but by God's grace, I still only remember those headlights, nothing more. I've forgiven the man that hit me, I've moved on from his mistake. I've grown profoundly from this experience and truly, in my heart of hearts I hope that he has to.

My body is broken. Everyday I work around managing chronic, broad (AKA, "Hard to treat, but hey, here's some pain pills") pain. I have shaky hands and lose my balance from time to time and many days I feel like a 95 year old lady which is dead sexy, I know. You know what though? This body is incredibly strong. I went a long time with docs telling me one particular feat would be too hard to manage but 4+ years later, I have carried to term and given birth to two beautiful, vivacious, potentially crazy little girls.

My heart rejoices! Wholly, completely, my heart rejoices! I was given a second chance at life and I have LIVED it. I married a wonderful man who accepts my crazy and I am a mom to two girls who have brought so much joy. I am surrounded by the most amazing people! Seriously, my family and friends are top-notch, completely, perfect-for-me amazing. I have discovered a bravery in me that frees me to SING. A few Sundays each month, I get to stand in front of the body of Christ and usher them into worship. I get to sing to and for Jesus, mind blowing. I am also so privileged to write and record songs and people even like to hear them. Unreal, wow.

I get to tenaciously live each day knowing that there is nothing in this world, not even a blazing fast, hard HIT that will stop me.

I have so much to be thankful for and after eleven years, I am humbled to say that that crazy accident...is just one of them.

XOXO

Goodnight Kisses

Tonight it hit me.

Tonight, I tucked my sweet babies in and savored the moments of quiet before they drifted off into dreamland. I laid my head on their chests and heard their hearts beating, I thanked God for those beating hearts. I saw my newborn smile in her sleep and stowed that sweet picture away in my heart. My three year old pulled her favorite lovey, "Bananas" in for a tighter snuggle and sighed in comfort. I love that sigh.

Tonight it hit me. Hard.

This week alone, our nation experienced evil that can't be described with words that exist in our language. Evil that broke lives. We saw such a tangible, terrifying and too-close-to-home example of hatred.
There are presents that won't be opened next week. Presents that Moms and Dads thought about and excitedly purchased, anticipating the response those gifts would bring. There are families that will have empty seatings at their tables. Right now, funerals are being planned, celebrations are being cancelled, hearts are hurting.

In my heart of hearts, I can't understand what is happening in our world. I think I'm still trying to piece my thoughts together to make sense of it. I don't know that I ever will. I have hope, great hope that God will redeem this ugliness. I have great hope that my Savior will overcome, I believe that to the core of my being. I have to because if I don't..how in the world can I protect and lead my children? How can I show them their world isn't lost if I don't believe that redemption exists and is tangible through their relationships with the Lord?

How will you react? How will you respond? How will you move forward? How will I?
I choose not to blame gun laws.
I choose not to blame the decision to take God out of the pledge of allegiance.
I choose not to blame politicians.
I choose not to blame parenting.
I blame sin and hate and an ENEMY who is winning by stirring hearts to point fingers and push back on each other. No one wins when we get into a pissing match and try to make sense of such senseless acts. NO ONE WINS. So what will you do? How can you use this absolute devastation for good?

I choose my family.
I choose my sweet friends.
I choose to pursue my Father in everything and start my days looking to Him.
I choose to savor the moments with my girls as they drift away to sweet sleep. I will remember those precious goodnight kisses and hugs.

To quote an awesome blog I was pointed to, "I cannot offer a snippet of Scripture or a platitude to comfort those 20 families, or to comfort you, my fellow believers. The day of our comfort is a future one. All I can offer is to hate my sin more deeply than I did yesterday and to cry out to God for a time when the groaning of this creation gives birth to that which is once again good."

I hope the hurtful events of the last week will stir your heart to consider a positive pursuit. Let us mourn, let us cry and let us find hope for the future.

God is surely alive and these moments are not unknown to Him. He still promises us a future and a hope.

Tonight it hit me, hard. Tonight, goodnight kisses remind me that life isn't all lost, and HOPE brings great light even on the darkest of nights.

Hello Friend.

Well hi there! It's been awhile and it is nice to see you again. Where have we been, you say? Oh LAAAWDY we've been busy. Since my last post, we have successfully managed to blow life up a little bit. I am writing you from the dining room table of our three bedroom townhome that we moved into nearly a year ago. I am watching my THREE year old daughter do the potty dance because she doesn't want to leave her friends and their Madagascar movie night. My husband of FIVE years is bouncing our IKEA BARGAIN buy with our 11 week old baby. That's right, the Couches upgraded to a family of four. WEIRD right?! Whodathunkit?! Needless to say, things have changed a lil' bit and there is much to catch up on. I look forward to sharing my stories with you, I have many! For now, I tweak and pretty up our page and get cozy with the new blog format. I will be back shortly, stay tuned!

Yes, that ACTUALLY happened!

So a 3 year old has to come sit in the office because she decide to clean her classmate's clock. I asked her why she decided to do that...could she have made a better choice?

**Huge and aggravated sigh**

"Weeeelll....Ms. Andieeeee." *insert another sigh*

"She wanted to talk to me but I don't like her FACE!"

*************

One of my favorite 3 year olds looks up at me and says "I really love you!"

I mean come on..what else are you gonna do...I bend down and give him a big bear hug.

Him: "You smell reeeeaally good Ms. Andie."
Me: "Oh really? Do I smell like apples?"
Him: "Well you're not stinky like the TOILET!"

Enter the laughter of a half-dozen 3 year old boys at even the whisper of the word "stinky" or "toilet".

Weee'reee Baaaaack!!!

Yeah, yeah, we've said it before but folks, WE ARE BACK IN THE GAME!! That's right..TDC is working its way back to its daily glory. I'm sure our readership of 12 is squealing with glee!

It dawned on me today that we all have those 'seriously, did-that-JUST-happen' moments. For some reason, I believe there is a target painted on the back of my head that says "hey rogue, obscure and embarrassing moments, come hit THIS ONE!!" If I was to sit back and watch my life as a spectator, I would say that Mr. Embarrassing Moment and I have turned life into a full-contact sporting event.

From that realization, a new post series was born...we will name her Yes, That ACTUALLY Happened.

Consider this your teaser. Get ready kiddos, I have some hum-dingers to float your way.

Stay tuned - we are just getting warmed up.

Ta-ta!

TDC

For Christina

You are one of the bravest people I've ever known. Your faith in God and your courage to pursue his will for your life is evident in everything you do. Your very presence encourages others to rise up and pursue our Heavenly Father with reckless abandon. Your story, your testimony has blessed others and made more of an impact not only on your community, but the world. You amaze me. You astound me. You bless your Savior by loving him, and us the way you do. Each step of the journey has been God-breathed and you have carried on with grace, dignity and unbelievable strength.

I love you sweet friend. You have an army of saints praying.

First Comes Love...

July 15, 2007 marked the beginning of an epic adventure. Here we are 3 years in and we have known more joy, love and excitement than we could have imagined for ourselves. I can't wait to see what our life together will bring! Dana, I love you with all my heart and couldn't imagine this ride with anyone else. You have my heart. My all.