Snap, Crackle, Pop

Oh it hurts so good...

The three of us have had a full week of chiropractic care and we are feeling pretty dang good.

This journey started out with a visit my mother-in-law made to the chiropractor. I used to see the same chiropractor on a regular basis, but due to schedule with work I haven't been able to see him in over two years. Boo. That. Anyhow, on a recent visit he asked her how we were holding up and how the new baby was doing. She then explained to him that we were dealing with colic and that our nights were a little more sleepless than the norm. With no hesitation, he told her that we just needed to bring her in and he could put the kabash on that nightmare. As soon as I heard this, I took his first available appointment.

People, I am a believer. I BELIEVE!

We saw him three times this week and it went like so:

Visit #1 - she fussed for a nano second after he adjusted her neck, and went back to daddy smiling. In the first twenty minutes after her adjustment was finished, she filled to MAX CAPACITY two..count 'em...TWO diapers. For the rest of the day, we had a perfectly beautiful smiley baby. You could tell she was much more relaxed and on the fussy-meter, we were down a few notches.

Visit #2 - the adjustment was quite quick, she went back to mommy smiling and slept 6 hours...STRAIGHT that night. In the morning, Dana and I couldn't help but rehash every minute of the night before. Really? 6 hours straight? We wanted to be certain we weren't forgetting a midnight feeding that did in fact take place - maybe we just weren't fully awake?

Visit #3 - she was quite discombobulated tonight and he spent a little more time with her. She came back to mommy smiling again and was buckled right into her car seat without a fuss. She must be REAL reeeelaxed because she has yet to wake up for her 6:00 feeding....it's almost 8:00.

Tonight we are making attempt #1 at baby girl sleeping in her own nursery. She has always slept with us so while we are anticipating a rough couple of nights, I am still hopeful that with this adjustment today she will be a little more relaxed and able to sink into a solid sleep.

Come ooooon 6 hours - come to mama!

Drop the egg and you get a F.

So remember back in school when you had the assignment with the egg? You had to watch over it for a week or so - treating it like a child - and guarding it oh so carefully so as not to crack or damage it at all. Heaven forbid it slipped from your clumsy grip because you would flunk your assignment and be forever dubbed the "egghead".

I think up to this point, I have felt like a glorified babysitter. My primary function has been to care for and protect this precious little project. The only difference is instead of the pressure of a mean teacher watching my every move, I deal with the pressure of severe sleep deprivation, a TOTAL loss of the ability to retain information and even at times, the loss of basic motor function.

That all changed today.

We took Penelope to an alternative treatment for colic, the chiropractor.
We toured child care facilities.
We got a freaked out, intense lesson about... WAIT, I mean...we were INFORMED about vaccinations.

We were parents. Real grown-up, decision making, wisdom seeking parents.

Holy crap. It begins.

Hell hath NO fury - like a baby with COLIC..

It's no secret - we are in a rough spot.

Baby P is not only dealing with a righteous bout of Colic, but she is going through her second growth spurt since her birth. Sister is pert-near 11.5 lbs already!! WHOA! For those of you who have experienced Colic, you can sympathize and no explanation is needed. Imagine the worst of it and throw in a double dose of the same symptoms as a result of a growth spurt. Poor baby has been so fussy lately, we have both been at our wits end trying to figure out how to make her comfortable. On one hand we get to the point where we can't stand the crying and we're ready to plug our ears and let her hash it out. On the other, we are desperate to do whatever it takes to make her happy. It's like loving someone with every fiber of your being but wanting to run the opposite direction when you hear them open their mouth to speak, or in our case, scream.

I cry a lot lately. **Sorry about those late night tearful phone calls Mama.**

It's amazing the insecurity that comes with being a mother. I told Dana tonight that the greatest insecurity I have ever known is solely in the responsibility I have as Penelope's mother. It wasn't until tonight when a good friend pointed out how quickly she has grown in a week's time, that I realized she was in fact in a growth spurt. And OH, maybe she's a crankfest because she is STARVING her butt off and needing more grub to grow!! Pardon me while I kick myself in the face for missing such a cue. I carry the weight of every ache and pain she experiences and I take responsibility for it. Any discomfort that befalls her, I own as if I put it there. I don't know why that is.

I will say this, I have learned how desperately I love my own mother and I'm seeing in a new light how amazing she is. The things I put her through - oh how do I count the ways I abused her. I have such unwavering respect for her and I am so blown away by the way she loves me. I hope that someday I can be the mom to Peanut that she has been to me. If I can be, I know I will have touched a life, made it better, left a legacy, blessed it beyond words.

I love you mom - and in joy or suffering, I will spend the rest of my days trying to show this sweet baby the love you have shown me.

Keep it ZIPPED ladies!

So I don't know if I have become hyper aware of this since becoming a mother, or if it's just more accepted by society these days, but what is with nursing mothers whipping out the chow wagon in public?! I mean REALLY?!

Several months before the birth of Peanut, Dana and I were meandering through IKEA when I notice Dana's eyes become saucers. They are telling me that he's just seen a) a ghost, or b) the naked booby of a random tree hugging, nature mommy in the Lighting aisle. It was no joke because minutes later in Textiles I ran right into her. Sure enough, she had her baby in the Baby Bjorn and her business was out there for everyone to see! The baby was chilling out in the carrier facing mommy and mommy's business was just BLAM...THERE...whipped out so baby can hook it up at her convenience. REALLY?!

My next experience was just last week when we were at Babies R' Us. Now granted, BRU is a place you would expect nursing mothers to be, but COME ON. We were looking for one item in particular and walked past one row several times. There was a couple in the row clearly looking into baby baths and were pulling out different models to get a good look. Each time I walked past, they had another style/model in their hands. The very last time I walked by...sure enough...she wasn't pulling baths out any longer, she had ejected HERSELF from her blouse and as she was cramming baby baths back into boxes, baby boy was hooked up getting down to business. First of all, I kind of admired her ability to multi-task. I mean the woman was bending over, standing up, tossing boxes around like she wasn't otherwise engaged in nursing. That's impressive on many levels. But nonetheless...REALLY?

I understand that nursing is natural and beautiful, it is a precious bond between mother and baby. I get that people, believe me! I cherish that time with my child, but I don't get the 'just pull it out' notion.

"Just pull it out" friends, let me introduce you to a diaper bag MUST-HAVE, The Hooter Hider. It's amazing, and gives you and your baby blissful privacy and not to mention it saves the awkward glances from passers by.

"Just pull it out" no longer! Hide those hooters sisters!

I'll Be Found In You...

A word of encouragement..

We have a very gassy baby.

A very gassy, fussy baby makes for some seriously gnarly days/nights. I have stopped eating dairy (for the most part), chocolate, citrus and caffeine in the hopes that the absence of those items will calm her belly. Folks, when you are indescribably sleep deprived, missing chocolate and caffeine isn't exactly a welcome dietary change. Nonetheless, we soldier on and make the best of the situation. There's a lot of emoting around here lately - and the baby fusses a lot too.

We have hit the wall. The wall that stands between us and sleep and sanity, kindness and self-control. We have hit it. Full speed, MACH 10.

In the hopes of finding some sort of encouragement, I dug into the word and an old devotional I have had for years. Not because I'm trying to pose as that "good Christian girl", but because in my life the greatest source of strength and the words that have spoken truest to my heart have come directly from the word of God. In Him I find the strength to be more than my own nature will allow. So when I'm desperate, and searching for hope of some kind, light at the end of the tunnel if you will, I turn to what I know.


An excerpt from my favorite devotional, "Streams In The Desert".
"Be still and know that I am God." Psalms 46:10

All loving Father, sometimes we have walked under starless skies that dripped darkness like drenching rain. We despaired from the lack of light from the sun, moon, and stars. The gloomy darkness loomed above us as if it would last forever. And from the dark, there spoke no soothing voice to mend our broken hearts. We would gladly have welcomed even a wild clap of thunder, if only to break the torturing stillness of that mournfully depressing night.
Yet Your soft whisper of eternal love spoke more sweetly to our bruised and bleeding souls than any winds that breathe across a wind harp. It was Your "gentle whisper" that spoke to us. We were listening and we heard You, and then we looked and saw Your face, which was radiant with the light of Your love. And when we heard Your voice and saw Your face, new life returned to us, just as life returns to withered blossoms that drink the summer rain.

5 Weeks - Bliss and Breakdowns

At 11:47 this morning, our beautiful baby girl will be five weeks old. How weird is that?! It's so wild to me how much she has changed in just five weeks. We can't comment on those chicken legs of hers any longer since they are now filled out and rolly polly, and her cheeks and gobbler now rest sweetly on her chest (haha!). Last night Dana and I weighed her and she is a solid 9 pounds even!! In an effort to keep up with her speedy growth, Dana and I made the trek down to the factory stores to visit the Carter store and stock up on clothes because believe it or not, she is creeping her way out of NB sizes. :( All of that In just 5 weeks?!

Aside from her physical growth, it has been so amazing to see her mind at work. She is recognizing our faces and voices, and making direct eye contact. The most exciting for I think both Dana and myself is the smiling and cooing. She SMILES and people, it's not the gas! She is perfectly content (after a fully belly and clean diaper and no other distractions whatsoever) to lay on the couch and stare at the lights in the room. She is so fascinated with the shadows and the way the different lights fill the room. She coos and gurgles to tell us what she thinks of each luminary design she sees in front of her.
It is so fascinating to watch her see her discover the world around her. What she must be thinking?

Needless to say, Penelope is not the only student of life these days. Dana and I have been in perpetual 'learn' mode since the moment she was born. We are soaking up wisdom our good friends offer us about everything from sleep to diaper rash. We take every opportunity to do our homework and research the growth and development of this little bumpkin. And in this push for education, we are learning that all the learning in the world is bunk compared to the hands-on, real time education we are getting. We are starting to understand her cries (didn't think I'd ever get that), we know her favorite ways to be held, we know how she acts when she is not feeling well. There is still so much we are trying to figure out, and yet, we know we will be in that pursuit of understanding rest of our days.

Chow time - baby calls. :) Stay tuned!